February 09, 2004
"Everything that has a beginning, has an end." - I am sure you are quite familiar with this sentence if you watched 'Matrix'. It was one of the many Buddhist wisdoms told in the film and for me it sums up the Buddhist truth about life pretty well.
Did you know that Buddhism is actually not a religion but a set of very logical and practical advice based on personal experience for everyday life? Therefore it is more of a lifestyle and a way of thinking than anything else. It also has a quality that is unique compered to the main religions of the world: it does not exclude them but acknoledges their positive efforts and their teachings about the Dhamma (truth).
When I decided to try Vipassana meditation (there are other kinds, like the Metha or Samatha methods) for the first time in my life I had no idea what it is going to be like and had even less clues about Buddhism. I only knew by previous experiences that if my mind is a nice place than the world is the same nice around me and that our minds have a very powerful effect on our physical body (you can make yourself seriously ill or cure a fatal illness by your faith!.)
I must admit it was hard work but well worth the effort! It took me a few days to get used to getting up at 4:30 am and after one hour meditation have breakfast (curry and rice) literally outside on the icy floor while the sun poked its shiny face from behind the hills. Since the day just began there was plenty of time for the 7 hour sitting (mainly motionless) and the same amount of walking meditation, only interrupting it with lunch at 11 am, after which you are not supposed to eat anything until next morning.
There are an additional set of rules in retreat, which include the 5 precepts for layman (no killing, drinking, sexual activity, lieing or stealing) plus 3 more: 1., You are not supposed to sing, dance or entertain yourself in any way, use any parfumes or make yourself attractive. 2., No eating in the wrong time (see before). 3., No use of luxorious bed or seat. (The last 3 are only neccessary in retreat because they can make the mind wonder more easily.)
Of course, I am no perfect human being so it was rather a struggle sometimes to keep to these strict rules. Other times when I was so much absorbed in my meditational experiences they seemed dead easy to keep especially when I did not think about them at all in those rare moments of peaceful clarity of mind...
During meditation my only job was to be in the present moment and note every activity of the mind (thinking, wondering, imagening or experiencing any kind of emotions), my pyisical senses (touching, seeing, tasting, hearing or smelling) or deliberate every-day activity actions paying special attention to my intentions. (Which is very funny to watch from outside, how they form and disappear, when eg you want to make a simple step.)
I think it is rather difficult, if not impossible, to understand something only trough theory. Once you have your own personal experience it makes it easier, especially becouse it is like any other learning process: it takes time and practice. Nevertheless, I try to explain the method: First, you start with the simple task of following the rise and fall of your abdomen. When you can note this then you start noting the other physical and mental phenomena. If you always note the most prominent ones (or later when you can even distinguish between your noting and possibly wondering mind) then you are doing your job right.
When you first sit down with your strong detrmination not to move at all (even if your leg has long ago gone dead) for one whole hour, and focus your mind very sharply on noting the different phenomena of life, you will most probably not succeed. It only takes time and practise though. (The fact that some others have done it for 8 continous hours without any following leg amputation also helps! :) The first time I was crying at the last 10 minutes or do of my 40 minute motionless sitting. After which I maneged the one hour and even more when my meditation was going well. :)
I experinced very strange things (including pleasant and unpleasent ones) like feeling my head exploding from the noises of the world, not feeling my body at all, feeling extrteme intense pain wondering around my body, imagining my hands swollen double size so much from the cold I had to check with eyes if it was true, watching a tile changing form every second, watching my body go so loose I could touch my nees with my nose (which i could never do before!), watching the taste of food (except for the spicy) to disappear if I stopped chewing and most pleasant of all, experiencing a very peacful and collected mind once for more than an hour. I list here all of this because although it may be different for every induvidual, there are common signposts along the way of meditation practise which all shows the powerful effect of our minds and the importance of BALANCE in everything.
I did not get so far as to detach my self from the form of my body - it all seems a fascinating but hard to believe concept yet to me. Though I had the strange feeling of being like an invisible videocam while walking in meditation on the streets of Kalow looking at the people passing by, while my body was going on its own accord at a constant speed. Very interesting. Also, when my teacher surprised me with his knowledge about my exact state of mind without telling a word to him was quite an experience! Finally, the one which happaned on the 6th day (and I should not get attached to for its pleasentness! :)) is simply undescribable. Equanimity and peacfulness comes close to it but I cannot depict it fully to you. You just have try for yourselves, I guess!
During these ten days I understood so much of the world much better and things just made so much sense (like everything has fallen into their places) based on my present and previous world experinces. I could look upon the past events of my life and understand their nature better. If I had had this knowledge earlier I would have understood better that the nature of everything (including the elevated feeling of love) is constant CHANGE. Which in the case of loving someone may mean that one day I am grumpy and not feeling sociable but that does not mean that I stopped loving my partner. In fact, next day I may love him more! ;) Nothing is constant...
I feel I should tell you about the Noble Eightfold Path, the 4 basic states in which the Buddha resigns, the hindrances and faculties of meditation, funny teaching stories about flying Arahants (enlightened) people (who by the way are not supposed to show off their supernatural powers in public because these abilities are not strongly related to their level of enlightenment) and much more. But it is way too much to write down here all what I have written in my small notebook in the ten days of my retreat. Besides, it had been done before me in a much better way then mine could ever possibly turn out to be. So, I rather recommend some good and clear websites (at the end of this writing) to read for those who are interested. (This staff is probably the more important to read than what I have written here so far!!)
I wish you all had a chance to try the method and gain first-hand experince but be careful! It is so simple, it is deceptive! Also, special thanks to my teacher in Kalow!
May you all become Arahants in this life! :D
PS: Let me round my very clumsy writing off with some saying of greater minds, whom I wish not to name now simply because I do not know the origins of each pearl of wisdom. I apologize for that.
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It is sometimes difficult to see and understand that changing conditions are not mistakes. They feel that way because we sometimes think that if we were only smart enough or careful enough, we could avoid all unpleasantness.
In a moment of wakefullness, we get a glimpse of Freedom. And instead of judging ourselves for all the times we do get lost, which happen again and again, we can delight in each moment of awekening.
Just trust in the Dhamma (truth). Your job is to simply sit and walk sit and walk. Let the Dhamma take care of the rest. This surrander to the Dhamma, the faith in the practise inspires us to continue.
A sign of spiritual maturity is being comfortable with paradoxons.
If it's not one thing, its another.
To be able to accept uncertainty, and live with it, is a sure sign of maturity.
Giving others the freedom to be stupid is one of the most important and most difficult steps to take on the spiritual path.
Were it fully understood that emotions are the masters and the intellect the servant, it would seem that little could be done by improving the servant while the master remained unimproved. Improving the servant only gives the masters more power of achieving their end.
Credulity is not faith, nor is skepticism wisdom.
Faith becomes superstition when it parts from reason, and eve more so when it goes against reason. But when it is cobined with reason, it prevents reason from remaining just an intellectual game.
Only people who don't meditate believe their own thoughts.
Deliberate thinking and discoursive understanding amount to nothing; they belong to the household of ghosts; they are a lamp in broad daylight; nothing shines out of them.
A sign of healthy mind is its capacity to live with anxiety, ambiguity, and ambivalence, without always trying to solve them.
A thought is just a thought.
A feeling is just a feeling.
A mood is just a mood.
A mental state is just a mental state.
A perception is just a perception.
An urge is just an urge.
Not me.
Not mine.
Not for me.
Not from me.
There is but one indefectably certain truth, and that is the truth that (the most extremes of) skepticism itself leaves standing... The truth that the present phenomenon of consciousess exist.
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For general ideas on Theravada Buddhism, studies, zen teachings and free books check out these excellent (and much more clear than mine) sites:
http://www.buddhanet.org/
http://www.cambodianbuddhist.org/english/website/
Books recommended:
Wings to Awakening
Mind like fire unbound
What the Buddha taught (very clear one!)
Life of the Buddha
The heart of Buddhist meditation
The experience of insight
International Theravada Buddhist Missionary University in Yangoon offers free 1 year courses on Buddhism and Burmase in English. If you want the details, pleas write me at gotiglis@hotmail.com. Every language taletells about its people and their culture. Eg: there is a Burmese saying 'Work like a Chinese, save like an Indian and do not waste like a Burmese.' which pinpoints the sad truth about personal wealth in the country of Myanmaa.